I was supposed to write this post a couple of days ago, but something after the other happened and I kept getting distracted.
The past few months have been intense for me, I have come to terms with a lot of personality flaws and I’m working on methods to combat them, incrementally. One of the most difficult things has been seeing through the beliefs that I’ve imposed on myself, as a result of said personality flaws + the lemons life has thrown at me over the years.
“I can’t help it.” “I can’t do it.” “I can’t find it.” These three sentences, whether on their own, or as part of larger sentences, have formulated a huge part of my life … sometimes, they’re really legitimate can’ts, like in situations really beyond my control, or for things that I didn’t want to do but knew that the people requesting wouldn’t respect my refusal unless it appeared as if I wasn’t in control.
As you might imagine, this sounded a lot like I was giving my power to other people and situations, and over time, it turned out to be true. Instead of owning up to the fact that I didn’t want to do something, I just said “I can’t … because …”. It turned into quite a disaster for me, as I felt that I wasn’t being true to myself.
I have this phrase that I toss around – it’s not perfect, but it’s perfect enough for me. If you take a first glance at it, it looks like I’m this amazing human being who is accepting of flaws and mistakes and doesn’t look for perfectionism in everything; the reality is that it’s a double-edged sword.
Yes, I truly believe that nothing is perfect, and there are many many things that I love with their flaws … but I’m a perfectionist. Show me the good side of you, and I will expect that you will NEVER be less than that or there will be trouble. This is quite evident in the way I treat my devices: the minute they start acting up, I curse them and shake them and threaten them; when they’re alright, there’s nothing more perfect than them.
And … I’ve been subjecting myself to the same horrifying treatment for years.
Every time I make a promise to write a blog post or email and something holds me back from doing it, I beat myself up. Every time my blog post or email doesn’t feel “perfect enough“, I hate myself for it. And that’s why I’ve not been blogging for a very, very long time.
Burning vs. Busting
When I first started writing this blog post, I wrote the title as “Busting Limiting Beliefs” … it’s quite a buzzword of sorts, right by the side of breakthrough and awareness. However, it didn’t feel right. Every time I try to bust through something, I circle back and un-bust myself.
It’s kind of like when in cop shows the protagonists break down the door of a suspect’s house, only to find more locked doors, so they bust through them; except in my case it’s the same door showing up over and over again.
So this time I’m choosing to burn through these beliefs. Like a candle, slowly melting the wax away to show the wick.
How about you? How do you choose to deal with limiting beliefs?